Uncertainty
by Hopeakaarme
Summary: After their loss, Yukimura is thinking. Suddenly he isn't so certain about what used to be a simple truth. Implied shounen ai SanaYuki. December fic for the 3rd day.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Konomi Takeshi does. I'm merely playing with them for the moment.

A/N: Ever since the 1st of December, I have been posting one fic/update a day over at my LJ, **lumelle**. These updates have been in series of five fics sharing a theme.

The first series of five was fics of the first five TeniPuri pairings I ever wrote.

My experience on writing Rikkai is very minimal, so forgive me any mistakes.

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Uncertainty

"…Yukimura?"

Sanada looked somewhat helplessly at his captain's back, not knowing what to say. He didn't know what to think, either, not really. He'd… never been in a situation quite like this before.

They had been beaten before, yes, by Seigaku, on the most important day ever. They had failed their captain's expectations, had failed to keep their promise, and back then it had been his loss, his failure just as much as that of the others. Yet this time he hadn't lost at all; he had won his own match, however awkwardly and closely but he had won, it might not have been the most graceful of his victories ever but at least it had been a victory. He couldn't be blamed for their failure to secure their third National Championship in a row, he and Kirihara and Renji couldn't, or Yagyuu who hadn't even gotten the chance to play. They were the ones who were innocent of this particular failure, the only ones.

One might have thought this would make it easier for him to accept. In a way, it only made it worse. After all, his not failing meant that someone else had failed for them not to achieve their goal.

This time, he wasn't the one who had failed his captain, his team. This time, it was the captain who stood quietly contemplating his lack of success.

Yukimura had been defeated. The one man Sanada had always thought invincible had actually been defeated. The original demon, the one he had never been able to bring down… now ultimately beaten by the very same prince who had humiliated Sanada himself earlier.

Perhaps it was the disease, he found himself thinking. Perhaps it still clung on in some form, perhaps it made Yukimura still a bit too weak… But even such thoughts didn't really help much. Not when he knew Yukimura would never be weak. Yukimura wouldn't allow himself to be weak and yet step onto the courts.

As there was no response, he finally gave up waiting and instead turned around to go. Apparently Yukimura now needed to think about the matters before he could get back to his feet properly. It was all too familiar, really; Sanada himself had done a lot of thinking after his own loss.

"…Genichirou?" He heard Yukimura's voice, soft, unassuming, just about enough to reach his ears.

"Yes?" he asked, equally quiet, not turning to look at his captain. He could sense the peculiar wariness about these words, and wasn't about to risk Yukimura suddenly deciding he didn't want to speak after all.

"Is tennis… fun?" He didn't have to look, didn't have to see to know there was a troubled expression on Yukimura's face, now, the look of one unsure of something he had always used to know, used to believe.

Sanada thought about it for a split second before answering, "Tennis… is a battle." He stood tall and proud as always, he was a warrior wasn't he, looking away yet speaking directly to his captain. "Satisfaction comes afterwards, from having defeated your opponent."

"…Indeed." Again, that tone of uncertainty. For some reason, it tore at Sanada's very heart. "I… used to think like that, too."

Finally, Sanada turned around, looking at Yukimura's back. "Then what do you think now?" he asked, taking a step forward, hand raised to reach for the captain's shoulder only for him to let it fall before it could quite make contact. "…Yukimura?"

"I… do not know anymore."

It could have been just his eyes playing tricks on him, but to Sanada it seemed as though Yukimura was… hanging his head, just a bit, shoulders hunched just a touch. Once again he was tempted to reach for Yukimura's shoulder only to falter again. This wasn't his place. He… couldn't offer any support, here.

Yukimura was the one who finally turned, now, not looking at him, slowly walking right past him. He paused at Sanada's side, though, for a moment standing exactly next to him, hand seeking his, fingers entwining hesitantly as though afraid. Then he drew away, again, his steps slow and perhaps just a touch uncertain, and Sanada was left standing alone, wondering what and why and how had exactly happened.

"…Echizen Ryoma," he finally murmured, almost angrily. "I will make you pay."

Not for beating him or Yukimura, though. No, those were simple matters of tennis and being better or worse.

He would make the brat pay for making Yukimura feel so uncertain.


End file.
